Sunday, August 17, 2008

Say it with parentheses: I'm sorry to say

that I have no knitting pictures. It's much too early, I didn't sleep well, and I forgot to take pictures yesterday (or the day before, et cetera). I'll do my best.

I've really only been working on two projects.

The first one (or second?) is a hat for my sister. She's getting a Hydrangea Hat for her birthday in October, which, I feel, is a good month to wear a hat in. It's knit with Jo Sharp Silkroad Tweed DK and it's turning out very loverly. She says she's sensitive to wool (first she said she was allergic, but then I threatened her on pain of death - what the hell is that supposed to mean anyway? Pain of death? Isn't death sort of painless? Am I even saying that right? Someone with an ejamakayshun correct me- anyway, pain of death, she changed her mind, you know the rest), but this yarn is so soft. I should know, right? I have an entire sweater knit out of this yarn. While my Hydrangea Hat looks like this:

Hers looks like this:
She's getting a Dead Hydrangea Hat. That's how much I love her*.

My other knitting project is much more exciting. I'm knitting NHM #10 for Mutti. I'm using cherry red Louet sock yarn and white Silja. Good combination: itchy, soft. Itch me, soothe me, itch me, soothe me. I'm trying to find a mitten that looks like mine, but I sincerely doubt that I'll find one with the same initials and year. ...
I take it back. Mine look like this. Or will look like this once I finish them. I changed the initials to JB and the year to 1957. Actually, it looks like 1967 (made Mutti 10 years younger - I don't hear her complaining!), but I'll fix it with duplicate stitch. I'm using single aught needles and they're a bit snug. I'm going to switch to US 1 needles for the 2nd mitten. Mutti says she doesn't care if one is bigger.
I brought them to Di's yesterday (Ahhhh, air conditioning!) and she said "Where's mine?" She's not demanding. I guess I'll finally get to use that blue and white alpaca...

While we were at my sister's house she showed us her behemoth tomato. This tomato is huge. It makes a watermelon look like a pine nut. It's so big it needs a support system just to keep it from falling off the stem, which looks quite strained. All the other tomatoes on this plant are really small which makes me think that this tomato is sucking the life from them. The Giant Vampire Tomato. It bites back.
She has some great-looking Gladiolas. And they're all over her garden. This is me being jealous. See how gorgeous they are? She has the biggest bees floating around her garden, too. Maybe they were bitten by the tomato. It could happen. Sorry, no bee pictures. I couldn't get close enough without being attacked by giant bees with 2 inch long legs and big, pointy teeth.
I lied (what else is new?); I do have knitting pictures. Just found them on my camera. My photographer wasn't having a camera-friendly day so I took the pictures with Sophie as my model. Plus, I know she hasn't been hanging around here much and you probably miss her. She wouldn't let me put the hat on her head.
Orange isn't really my color. Halloween is SO tacky.

Is that someone at the door? The UPS man? Ohmigod Ohmigod! Quick! Put the hat away! Don't you dare post these pictures on the internet!**

You wanted to know what the hat was? Geez... talk about demanding. Fine. It's Zeebee, but I think I'll call this one Tang. It's knit with this yarn - the color of which is not represented very well in these photos. Bad lighting. My art director dumped me. He works for Brooklyn Tweed now, the cheating bastard. Not linking out of bitterness.

As to my alcohol-laden post on the 12th: it wasn't really that bad, but it was a complete waste of time (even though I finished a sock and Zeebee while I waited) and I felt like a complete asshole. It involved the DMV. We need not discuss it. Thanks for everyone (insert hollow laughing) for your kind comments.

Allison said:
Ah yes, I'm familiar with *that* kind of day. I hope things look up soon, and may I recommend some chocolate?

You may.

*Not true at all. I really do love her. Otherwise I wouldn't be knitting her anything.
**She's such a Valley Cat. And, yes. I totally stole this from Chris.


Stefaneener said...

That was pretty funny. I've been noticing how good BT was looking. Thought it was just him, but hey, fickle, thy name is art directors!

Have fun knitting.

Chris said...

LOL! Black kitties are SUCH divas sometimes, aren't they? :)

allisonmariecat said...

Oh, I was cracking up at "Dead Hydrangea Hat" and again with the "Giant Vampire Tomato" and again at your diva cat. Awesome hilarity.

Glad you got the always helps!